Killed By Drapery
by lighty-chan
Summary: Sirius Black knew that fear of curtains he established long ago wasn't unjustified. Twoshot dedicated to Padfoot and Moony! n.n' Working on an epilogueprologue thing. D
1. The Amazing Padfoot

Ch 1: The Amazing Padfoot

**Author's Notes: **Be nice. Please? Okay. Thank you. This is my first attempt at anything other than a one-shot (behold! a two-shot!) and it's my first story uploaded onto I couldn't be more terrified. n.n''

But anyway, this is a two-shot, and please please please review, and I'll get chapter two up as soon as I can (whether you like it or not! Nya!).

Don't flame me. Please. It's not nice and causes Padfoot to weep in his corner of woe. TT

**Warnings: **Mild language. Not too bad, but then again, I could be wrong. .''

**Disclamer**: Everything you recognize is not mine. They belong to the wonderful imagination of a certain Miss J. K. Rowling, of whom I hate with a passion for taking up all of the creativity before I even had a go. TT

* * *

Sirius Black was mad. No, not just mad. He was furious.

Scratch that, he was downright _pissed._

He, the wonderful, clever, amazingly sexy Sirius Black, was…_dead_. And not a heroic death, either. Well, he supposed it was heroic, in its own right. But, _really_, to be killed by his female cousin? To be pushed into a _curtain_? To be killed, ultimately, by _drapery_? That's a wimp's death. Sirius Black, he reasoned with himself, was not a wimp, dammit.

Sirius Black was amazing, he was the wonderful Padfoot, co-founder of the Marauders, the Sex God of Hogwarts (while he was there), so why the hell was he dead?

Why the hell had he died alone?

Why did he, the amazingly awesome Sirius Black, feel such regret, looking back at his life?

Why did it hurt so much to see his life flash before him in the split second he was falling through that damned veil?

And why, in the name of all that is awesome, did it have to be curtains?

Because he remembered the people he couldn't, or wouldn't in one case, save…it had hit him in the gut.

Seeing his brother in his brief flashbacks had almost made him sob with guilt.

Seeing his best mate, Prongs, in another got him _that much closer _to sobbing with the guilt he had suppressed for years.

And trust me, it took _a lot_ to get the ever-awesome Sirius Black to sob.

Sometimes.

Okay, so he had a weakness for sappy muggle romance movies, but so what! Everyone cries at those.

And when he saw that show with the drowning puppy.

And when- never mind.

The _point_ is that Sirius Black did not sob _often_.

But that night, after he fell through that veil, after he saw the horrible flashbacks that made his heart ache…he, the amazing, ever-confident, devilishly handsome heartbreaker (known during his Hogwarts days for never crying in public (among other things)) sobbed his heart out.

"Damn, Padfoot. Never thought I'd see the day!" Prongs' voice came, as the young man thumped his friend on the back.

Through his sobs, Sirius could only choke out a strangled, "W-what?"

Prongs grinned cheekily in that way of his, and Sirius could see Lily smiling behind him.

"Why, the day the amazingly awesome Sirius Black sobbed over something _other_ than _The Lakehouse_."

Sirius Black had to admit, though his best mate was an annoying git, it was good to see him again.

But, he fumed, not enough to erase the fact that he was killed by _drapery_.

He knew that fear of curtains he established long ago wasn't unjustified.

_Take that, Moony._


	2. The Stoic Moony

Chapter Two: The Stoic Moony

**Author's Notes: **OMG. **Truthxandxlies**, I truly, truly love you. Seriously. My first reviewer ever on this site, and you're so sweet. Thank you! –is on cloud nine- n.n

**Warnings: **Mild language…And such. Rated T just to be on the safe side. Not really a pairing, but if you squint and turn your head to the side a bit you can see a bit of SBRL in there among the rants. n.n''

**Disclaimer: **Jeez, only the second time doing this and already I'm tired of it. u.u.'' Well, as always…unless I suddenly get filthy stinking rich in my lifetime, I will never ever ever own Harry Potter. Bugger. . ''

**O.o.O.o.O.o**

Remus Lupin was mad. No, not just mad. He was furious.

Scratch that, he was downright _pissed_.

Now, mind you, Remus Lupin was not a particularly angry person, but there was always one person who could always push him off the edge.

That person just happened to be Sirius Black.

And that fact became increasingly obvious as Remus Lupin sat in his small, dimly lit apartment, not quite drunk but on the verge of it, and spouting all kinds of obscenities in more than one language ("Teme!"(1) and other such curses) at the picture of the overly confident, cocky, and God damned annoying dog he had grown to love over the years he had known the hyperactive man.

For the life of me, Remus though to himself, I just can't figure it out.

How had the talented, overly confident man he had shared a dorm with for seven years (and an apartment for a little more) died?

_Killed, _Remus corrected himself.

By a _curtain_, no less.

The normally stoic man giggled.

He knew he shouldn't, but the alcohol made him much freer with his emotions, so he giggled.

And then his harmless giggle escalated into hysterical laughter, as he imagined Sirius's face in the afterlife.

If there really is a God, Remus mused, still giggling lightly, he's got one hell of a sense of humor.

Because really, Sirius's fear of curtains wasn't utter nonsense, after all.

_I'm sorry, Padfoot._

**O.o.O.o.O.o**

**(1):** Don't ask me where Remus learned Japanese. Because honestly, I don't know. And I'm the writer. n.n'''

Teme means "bastard" or is translated into that. –laughs slightly at her wisdom- XD

And woooooo! My first story on and it's DONE! I'm so proud of myself.

-is still on cloud nine from that comment, **truthxandxlies**-


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